CHRISTMAS CRACKER.
 (Or Muse on a Birth)   

Evergreen,
Tinsel, Turkey, 'n' Telly,
Carols, Camels, 'n' Kings,
These are the things of Christmas,
Of Cracker 'n' Nuts,
Puddings, stockings, 'n' Toys,
Snowflakes 'n' cards,
And Large Smouldering Cigars,
Yes these are the things of Christmas,
As we raise our glasses to the Queen,
Playing our stupid little parlour games,
Before singing Auld Lang Syne,
Only to take our sad little Fairy down from the Tree,
 The needless, needless, Tree.